122011

Joke of the Day

"SPECIAL COLUMBUS DAY SALE: For $300 you can drive one of our vans into Canada and claim you discovered it."

"A woman tries to flirt with a depressed man suffering from ID crisis in a bar. Woman: Hey! Who's the handsome man here? And the dude goes ""Oh God! Not again! Who am I?"""

"girl [smiling]: hey, how are you!? me [visibly nervous]: not much!"

"What do you say to Jennifer Anniston after she has been stabbed? So noone told you knife was gonna be this way?"

"I do shrugs at the gym with like 400 pounds just to show everyone how hard I don't care."

"Turned off autocorrect and I've never been happyer."

"A guy asked me out! Well, a guy asked me if I was going to be the same place he is. FINE, my boss called to see if I was coming to work."

"WHAT'S BETTER THAN A ROADMAN!!!!!!??? A ROADMAP!!!"

"Did you know if you put your ear up to a strangers leg, you can actually hear them say; ""What the fcuk are you doing?"""

"Luke use the father - Nuke I am your force Yay twist on words, so funneh. My friends says i'm hilarous."