121997

Joke of the Day

"How many gorillas does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes a shitload of lightbulbs."

"-Sir we found hot glue in her ears nose and mouth, seems she suffocated. -Well whoever did this must be pretty....crafty. -Go to hell sir."

"I went shopping . . . I went to the supermarket to get some groceries. When I got to the dairy section, they only had one piece of cheese left. It was provolone."

"Q: why did the blond stare at her orange juice for 2 hours? A: because it said ""concentrate"""

"Why don't you go down on a girl in the morning? Have you ever tried to split a grilled cheese?"

"I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit but it wouldn't matter."

"My wife and i were happy for 20 years. Then we met."

"BRAIN: it's 4am u up? ME: leave me alone B: who was our grade 5 teacher? M: stop B: why's our eye itchy? M: I'm ignoring u B: engage bladder"

"What happened to the religious idol when it was put up at auction? It was sold to the highest Buddha."

"I just want to have a long enough career in show business so I can become eccentric and bring a goat to a meeting or some shit"