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Joke of the Day

"Two old ladies sitting in a doctor's office in Florida... The one says to the other, ""I can't see, I can't hear anything and I can barely walk. Thank God I can still drive."""

"90 female cops on the road... And I got arrested for doing 80"

"What do you call a dead bird that was suicidal? A Robin Williams."

"my spirit guide told me to scale the shelves at Cosco and build a nest with toilet paper"

"Did you know you can tell the gender of an ant by putting it in water? If it sinks, it's a girl. If it floats, it's buoyant"

"I'm going to put my limbs into each corner of a fitted sheet and attempt to become a sugar glider."

"Why are pirates always angry when they go to the restroom? Because they p-irate."

"What do Jewish pitbulls say to each other when they get home? Muzzles off!"

"Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. Guess they don't like random people coming up to their door."

"How do you know if a girl is on her period? Shut up!"