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Joke of the Day

"my spirit guide told me to scale the shelves at Cosco and build a nest with toilet paper"

"I used to have a dog named Ass. RIP Ass"

"Why do good farmers only excel when they are actually farming? (X-post from /r/jokes) Because they are out standing in their field."

"A rude answer to when someone tells you they want something that isnt going to happen. Want in one hand and shit in the other one, then tell me which one fills up first."

"The fact that they call it the Food Pyramid and not Food Triangle implies it has at least two other sides. So maybe this much taffy is OK"

"Why did the tree keep getting grounded? Because it was s knotty pine!"

"Donald Trump is like the ""Scream"" movies in that he blurs the line between comedy and horror."

"A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talk TO EACH OTHER instead of about each other."

"What's Michelle Obama's favorite place on reddit? /r/jokes cause it's all about recycling!"

"So a guy is eating a steak dinner at a restaurant... ...when the waitress comes over and asked the man ""How did you find the steak, sir?"" The man looks at her and says ""I just moved the potatoes."""