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Joke of the Day

"@funTweeters I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers"

"I cried when one day when my dad decided to chop onions for dinner... I miss onions, he was a good dog."

"What is the definition of disgusting? Putting 7 oysters up your girlfriend and sucking out 8"

"What's worse than finding your first grey pubic hair...... ....finding it between your teeth."

"""Dad, how come we use plastic forks and my friends all have silverware?"" - Because they're poor and have to reuse everything. ""Pfft losers"""

"Exercise, the poor man's plastic surgery."

"My telethon to raise money for starving children in Africa was a huge flop. I didn't know the TV added 10 pounds. Those kids looked fine. :("

"If you like airborne fecal matter you'll love being alive on earth"

"Yesterday I told someone that I don't like babies? ""Have you tried them with ketchup instead of mayonnaise?"", they asked."

"I wonder if the clothes in China say ""made around the corner """