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Joke of the Day

"""Dad, how come we use plastic forks and my friends all have silverware?"" - Because they're poor and have to reuse everything. ""Pfft losers"""

"Guy: Wanna go out? Girl: I have a boyfriend. Guy: It's just like soccer, just because theres a goalie doesnt mean you cant score."

"Have you ever looked at someone's phone's selfie wallpaper and look at the owner and look again at their selfie and back again to the owner?"

"I like my horses like I like this kind of joke. Beaten to fucking death. Jesus, come up with something better please."

"Why can't Casper have kids? Cause he has a Halloweenie"

"It would have been really ironic if Andy Dick's parents had named him Hugh."

"Ebola causes nausea, headaches and is hard to get rid of. Is it a disease or a U2 album?"

"""Why is life so hard?"" - Me, trying to open a jar of peanut butter."

"Man, 2016 really has killed everybody: In November alone we lost Leonard Cohen, Florence Henderson... ...and America."

"What's the problem with North Korea? It has no Seoul!!"