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Joke of the Day

"When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?"

"I was talking to my science class... ...about Astronomical Units (Au). Our conversation was gold."

"Many people are surprised to hear I'm married because I scream it at them as I descend from their broken skylight in the dead of night."

"What do you get when you smash two old protons together in the large hadron collider a muon."

"I met a woman with one leg today. Her name was Eileen."

"A barber was arrested yesterday in my area for selling drugs. I've been his customer for years. Didn't even know he was a barber..."

"What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer? One says, ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"". The other says ""Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!""."

"I got stung by a bee the other day..... 15 for a jar of honey!"

"Toddler misbehaves, but follows it up with throwing his hands in the air and yelling ""Ta-da!"" so he won't get in trouble. Stealing it."

"Please donate to my gofundme to replace the laptop i threw across the room in anger after my last gofundme failed"