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Joke of the Day

"- I'm here to register for the pessimists' club. - Is the glass half empty or half full? - What glass? - Gentlemen, we have a new leader!"

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em."

"Where do pedophiles get the wedding rings? They go to Jared."

"How to stop pedophilia worldwide? Kill all the children."

"What's the difference between people in Dubai and people in Abu Dhabi? People in Dubai don't watch the Flinstones, but people in Abu Dhabi do."

"Really? ""Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?"" Um...may I introduce you to pizza?"

"My Swedish friend asked me to stop making Ikea jokes. Ikea'nt"

"What do you call a singing group trio of pre-op Trannies? Chixie Dicks"

"My two year-old has begun shouting ""The end!"" in a sing-song voice when he wants you to stop talking to him. Going to try this myself."

"Talking to you makes me invent new swear words."