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Joke of the Day
"Talking to you makes me invent new swear words."
Next Joke
"My mate got run over this morning by a limousine, it took fucking ages..."
"What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road? Dodged-a-Rango"
"Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security? Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them."
"The worst thing about admitting you're an alcoholic is that people will expect you to stop drinking."
"A woman was on trial for murdering her husband with his guitar. The judge asked, ""First offender?"" She replied, ""No. First it was the Gibson, then the Fender."""
"How do you kill a fox? You cut off its leg and make it run across canada"
"Why do people cry when they are first born? 1. 100 million of your brethren have just died. Someone has to mourn for them. 2. Title: ""first born"" Can you be born a second time?"
"First time I ever saw a dry-erase board I said ""that's remarkable."""
"What did the student say to his math teacher after his dog ate part of his homework? I got 99 problems, but a bitch ate one."