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Joke of the Day
"I have a phobia of over engineered buildings I have a complex complex complex."
Next Joke
"Which of the American forces is the most patriotic? The Air Force, because its US AF."
"Me: I need to sleep Ambien: do worms have buttholes? You should text your boss"
"She's so ugly that when a wasp stings her it shuts its eyes."
"Cats are just fuzzy houseplants that hate you."
"[Reality TV] HOST: Welcome to America's Next Top Psychic! Please, try not to-- *One contestant stands up*: I WON! H: --ruin it."
"An Englishman walks into a bar There's usually an Irishman, Scotsman and Welshman too but they're all still at the Rugby World Cup!"
"My friend likes puns so I came up with ten of them to try and make him laugh... ...but no pun in ten did."
"My top 3 assumptions when doorbell rings: 1. Murderer 2. Police telling me everyone is dead 3. That book I ordered about positive thinking"
"How do you kill an Argentinian? Take him to the top of his ego and throw him off."