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Joke of the Day

"An Englishman walks into a bar There's usually an Irishman, Scotsman and Welshman too but they're all still at the Rugby World Cup!"

"What's the difference between a good joke and me not giving a shit? Fuck you"

"Q: You can sleep on it, brush your teeth with it and sit on it, what is it? A: A bed, a tooth brush, and a chair."

"What do you call a Mexican that can't cross the border? A Mexi*can't*"

"What did the peadophile say when he was released from prison? I feel like a kid again"

"What's the difference between a tornado and a redneck divorce? Nothing. Either way they're losing the trailer."

"Touch it gently, put two fingers inside... if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down, push in and out... faster and faster! Yep that's how you wash a cup."

"There is no dialog in the first half-an-hour of Mad Max:Fury Road...(no spoilers) ...'cept all the blacks yip-yappin' in the theater."

"Why did no one ever consider Tony Stark (the Iron Man) a protagonist? Because he was always cited as the Anthony hero."

"I'd like a job cleaning mirrors Because it's something I can see myself doing"