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Joke of the Day

"I combined two hit games and made ""Angry Words With Friends"" where I just scream obsenities at people while throwing dead birds at them."

"Waiter I can't seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup. Would you expect to find angels in angel cake?"

"Why did the owl owl ? Because the woodpecker would peck 'er !"

"Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights? Because he was soda-pressing"

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler? Well, one is a racist, megalomaniacal, rabble-rousing buffoon and the other one is Adolf Hitler."

"A husband and wife are fighting. The wife says ""You've got the smallest penis I've ever seen!"" The husband shoots back ""Then we're a perfect fit for each other, cause you're a shallow cunt!"""

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You would think R, but pirates really have a passion of the seas."

"New neighbours just moved in... I baked them some goodies as a welcome & a warning to never eat at my house."

"Must thank Matthew Broderick for overcoming my fear of sex after pregnancy. He reminded me that sometimes you just have to get back on the horse."

"Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not going to fall for that one again."