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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile."

"Sorry for accidentally karate kicking you. Sorry for high-fiving everyone who saw it"

"What is the volume of pizza? Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius^2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza."

"Not everyone understands my laundry method. It's simple. If it's clean, it's on the floor. If it's dirty, it's on the floor over there."

"What did the Indian guy say to his mother before he left for his nearest city? ""Mumbai"""

"The scariest moment in any man's life is when his wife stops talking and it's his turn to say something in a conversation he's been ignoring"

"You know how after you get off a boat, your body still feels like its on the boat for a while after? I'm like that with beds."

"machines in a casino do you know which machine is the most likely to pay out? The ATM"

"To the people who have lost one shoe on the side of the road... Are you okay? How does that even happen?"

"I used to own a nocturnal horse... She was a nightmare."