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Joke of the Day

"I used to own a nocturnal horse... She was a nightmare."

"I asked my immigrant Asian parents if they knew what Roe v. Wade was. ""Umm... the decision we had to make when we came to this country?"""

"Doctor! Doctor! I think I have Barry Manilow's disease! ""What are your symptoms?"" ""I can't laugh and I can't sing. I'm finding it hard to do anything!"""

"I tried to register under the username ""v1rg1nity""... ...but it's already taken."

"What do you call a good looking canyon? Gorge-ous"

"What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch? Namaste."

"Every time I use <3 in an @ to someone, I can't help but think, ""Please accept this carrot with balls as a token of how much I heart you."""

"Engineers will get it They should call it a ""Bachelor because of Science""."

"*mom puts a gummy vitamin in my mouth while I yawn* Mom, I'm 36. *chews it up, swallows* Adults are supposed to have 2 though."

"Have you seen www.tomatosauce.com? No I'll ketchup with it later."