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Joke of the Day

"Not everyone understands my laundry method. It's simple. If it's clean, it's on the floor. If it's dirty, it's on the floor over there."

"I'm done telling racist jokes because... Once you tell Juan you tell Jamal"

"*reheats leftovers from yesterday's dinner date* *takes bite* *waiter from last night knocks on window* ""how's everything tasting folks"""

"Ever find yourself masturbating and realize that you've already watched this episode of Trading Spaces?"

"ME: omg I love your accent! Say that again! MY AUSTRALIAN WIFE: You're shallow and selfish. I'm leaving you and taking the kids."

"My favorite element is Helium I can't speak highly enough of it"

"Iraq has just ordered two thousand septic tanks from Russia. As soon as the Iraqis learn to drive them they are going to invade Iran."

"Viagra shipment stolen... Hardened criminals on the loose."

"Did you hear about the reverse exorcism? The devil was trying to get the priest out of the little boy!"

"Why do Scots wear kilts? Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away."