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Joke of the Day

"The scariest moment in any man's life is when his wife stops talking and it's his turn to say something in a conversation he's been ignoring"

"Why was the programmer unhappy at his job? He wanted arrays. It had to be reiterated several times before it was sorted out."

"Why does Leonardo DiCaprio love his fast car? Because he got an award for revvin' it."

"What did George Washington say to his men just before they got in the boat? ""Men, get in the boat!"""

"My purse is deeper than some people."

"LEGALIZE MEDICINAL MURDER"

"Boss: Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait? Boss: Today!"

"My girlfriend just emailed me a photo of us on our first date together. It's a very treasured memory for me. Problem is, the file wont open on my computer. I guess I have emotional attachment issues."

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years... Then we met."

"How can you tell if your wife left you? You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!"