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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut, you racist."

"Not to brag, but I've satisfied every waitress that's ever served me. With just the tip."

"Me: Excited for the dance? 13yo: No, because you and mom will be there. Me: But I've been workin on my twerkin! 13yo: I need new parents."

"Mom asked me if I would pick up some things for her at the 'Dime Store', great, now I've got to go all the way to the 70s."

"When does every cat want to be fed? Right fucking meow"

"I know this guy who prematurely ejaculates and he just comes out of no where..."

"This may be one all of you have heard, but what do Eric Clapton and coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream."

"*reads a note sombody put on my desk* [i heard u caught a cold! i hope it FLU away!] *drops note* what.. WAT IS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE"

"How do you tell X chromosomes from Y chromosomes? You pull down their genes."

"What do my iPhone and my girlfriend have in common? They both go off again two minutes later to remind me of the same thing."