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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut, you racist."

"When asked about his religious beliefs, Donald Trump states that he... ""definitely believes in a higher tower""."

"*Shrek pre-production meeting* Producer: Do we have a name for the dragon yet Guy who named the donkey ""Donkey"": I was thinking Dragon sir"

"I used to never give a shit, but my attitude is improving. Now I don't give two shits."

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was getting me to date her."

"So we no longer say ""please"" and ""thanks"" in the office? Never got the memo. But I did get one saying it's ok to key impolite people's cars."

"A city child came running into the farmhouse. ""No wonder that mama pig is so big"" she yelled. ""There's a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!"""

"Him: Where'd you get that black eye? Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too..."

"""I have $50, less than an hour, and a ton of cocaine. Let's make a commercial!"" - every furniture store owner"

"There's a fine line between being a drug addict and a recreational user... ...and I snorted the whole thing."