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Joke of the Day

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was getting me to date her."

"Why are dwarfs so good at math? Because it's the little things that count."

"My daughter wanted to have a Disney princess tea party. I couldn't find the tea or the dresses, so I settled for Taco Belle."

"[wife walks in on me showering] ""Why are you wearing swim trunks?"" No reason. [she glares at me] SO MY TEMPORARY TATTOOS DON'T COME OFF OKAY"

"I have a severe allergy to alcohol Whenever I drink it I breakout in handcuffs."

"How do u Find a Blind Man In a Nude Convention Its not Hard"

"Chris Brown is Selling his pitbulls. he doesn't want to live with something that can fight back."

"I was once slapped in the face by a girl with twelve nipples... (.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.) Sounds weird, dozen tit?"

"Loooooser I am A Looser. Really You are?"

"I feel bad for tailgating this minivan so closely but once I started watching Kung Fu Panda on his back seat TV I had to see it through."