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Joke of the Day
"Stop eating all the shrimp, Sean Connery It's shellfish."
Next Joke
"What's brown and sits on a piano bench? Beethoven's final movement."
"What's the difference between a sadist and a math teacher Nothing"
"Doctor: ""I need to draw some blood."" Me: ""Okay."" Doctor: ""Do you have a red crayon I could borrow?"""
"What is small furry and smells like bacon ? A hamster !"
"Racist jokes are all the same... Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal."
"A solid knife fighting strategy is to move clockwise in increasingly larger circles until you reach a safe running distance."
"HOW DO I CONVINCE EVERYONE THAT I'M NOT UPSET SOMEONE STOLE MY CAPS LOCK KEY?"
"My dogs keep looking at me as if I have the power to fix the snow outside but I'm too goddamned lazy to do it"
"Ok, another Grandfather joke. (revised) Just joking they're both locked in my basement with their mouths gagged while I collect their social security checks."