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Joke of the Day

"Ok, another Grandfather joke. (revised) Just joking they're both locked in my basement with their mouths gagged while I collect their social security checks."

Next Joke
 
"Getting the girl isn't as easy as they make it look in the movies. They don't trip as often, and when you do catch up they get the machete away from you. :\"
"My wife asked me about where to put a dish when unloading the dishwasher... I looked at her and said ""As a French whore would say 'Put it anywhere it fits.'"
"Some people mock me because I'm a virgin but I don't give a fuck (This is probably a repost because it's so unoriginal)"
"Why is a shooting star better than a hamburger? It's meteor."
"I've decided I'm not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I'm sorry."
"Imagine trying to explain Captain America: Civil War to Abraham Lincoln."
"if a gay man inquires about something.... Is it a queery?"
"I'm so sorry but what is a fedora wearer's favourite part in music? Me'lody"
"What is the difference between pot and pussy? If you can smell the pussy across the room, it's probably not the good stuff."