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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between harry potter and jews? Harry escaped the chambers."

"I know Jiu-Jitsu, Sambo, Judo, Aikido and lots of other scary words."

"*armadillo comes rolling back in the ball return* ""Wait.. if you're here, then..."" *cut to wife sobbing at bowling ball* ""UNCURL, FREDRICK!"""

"I didn't expect a bug to crawl out of my Meth stash... But it just came out of the blue."

"[ This one from the great /u/KingOfRibbles ] ""My sink was a bit dirty-"" ""-but all it needed was a little ...wiping!!!"""

"What did Stephen Hawking name his new hair salon The Curl Up and Dye"

"Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro? They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan."

"Why should you never date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them!!"

"I went to a feminist picnic the other day... It was great, apart from the fact that no one made any sandwiches."

"If Ursa Minor is made up of stars... is it safe to call it a Solar Bear?"