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Joke of the Day
"I trust J.D. Power, but not his shifty ""Associates"""
Next Joke
"What did one egg say to the other? It's just a Yolk!!"
"Struggling with Christmas Presents??? If you're struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas... Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it!"
"Drinking a beer is great, but opening another one is awesome."
"My girlfriends nervous about giving birth. I said don't worry, women have been doing it for over 100,000 years.. .. Or in the case of Republicans, women have been doing it for 6,000 years or less"
"What people travel the most? Romans."
"""Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?"""
"If you ever feel silly for being on Twitter just remember there are people on national television asking ""ghosts"" questions."
"I got a vasectomy at Sears! Was really inexpensive, but now whenever I get an erection, my garage door opens."
"Dad joke I just had with my girlfriend GF: *sigh GF: *sigh GF: *sigh Me: That's like 3 sighs in 30 seconds. GF: And they all probably meant different things. Me: I guess I need to know sigh language."