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Joke of the Day

"Dad joke I just had with my girlfriend GF: *sigh GF: *sigh GF: *sigh Me: That's like 3 sighs in 30 seconds. GF: And they all probably meant different things. Me: I guess I need to know sigh language."

"Why doesn't Yogi wear shoes? He likes to go... bearfoot! I'll see myself out..."

"Just passed a cop on a bicycle, I hope I used my turn signal properly or I might get a detention or whatever they hand out"

"If you're attacked by a mob of clowns, what should you go for? The juggler"

"Why did Blacula get kicked out of a Yale Halloween party? The party was for ""Wights only."""

"What's the difference between a joke and 2 dicks? You can take 2 dicks."

"""Oh man, that thing looks irritated"" - me, pulling into the airport parking lot and seeing my mother-in-law waiting on the curb"

"If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws what would the movie be called? Loch Jaws."

"what if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside"

"It's a good thing I'm off for a vacation soon. It took me 15 minutes of her talking about her Volvo before I realized she meant her car"