121025

Joke of the Day

"The world's largest info tech company has merged with a mobile accessories company, but refuses to share a name with them. And they're not even sorry about it. Nope, they're not Apple-Logitech."

"Why does the army want to only recruit married men? Because they don't want a **single** man lost!"

"1. Pick jeans to wear 2. Pull them up to thighs 3. Pants dance for 3 minutes 4. Take pants off 5. Put sweatpants on 6. Cry, eat pumpkin pie"

"""Release the Kraken!"" ... ""Well?"" ""We released him. He just took off. It's not like he was trained or anything."" ... ""Release the tuna!"""

"Where do you see yourself in 10 years? In a mirror."

"Why don't Malaysian TV shows get commissioned? Because they all have terrible pilots."

"Winnie-the-Pooh is in tears He got Triggered."

"""Smoking breaks"" at work should be deducted from annually leave. We all have addictions, you don't see me leave a meeting to fry plantain"

"Two twins are looking through a family photo album ""It's not you, it's me"" They both say in unison."

"Toddlers & Ghosts -haunt you at all hours -lots of moaning/screaming -unclear motives -not helpful with housework -randomly open cupboards"