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Joke of the Day

"Dr: You have walking pneumonia. Me: That's impossible. Dr: Wha.. Me: I've never walked a day in my life."

"the easiest way to distinguish between their/there/they're is to remember that they are all different words"

"Teacher: Jimmy what is a shih tzu? Jimmy: Excuse me miss? Teacher: A shih tzu Jimmy, a shih tzu? Jimmy: A zoo with no animals miss."

"If someone stands you up and doesn't call, stay positive. They could be dead."

"A Texas sheriff found a black man who was shot 12 times. He said it was the worst case of suicide he'd ever seen."

"My new year's resolution is... ...running at 1680 x 1050"

"What is the size of women in Italy? Itali-cized."

"When is a bread not kneaded? When it's unnecessary"

"Whats Hitler's favorite type of joke A roast"

"Beauty is only skin deep but that's ok because my eyes can't see any farther than that."