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Joke of the Day
"If someone stands you up and doesn't call, stay positive. They could be dead."
Next Joke
"Penguins can't fly. Sometimes I get bummed out thinking about that. But then I remember I don't have to clean penguin shit off my car."
"You wanna know what sucks about being single? Nothing. You gotta use your hands now."
"What did Cinderella say when the got to the ball? She didn't say anything, she just gagged."
"Which state does the most laundry? Washington."
"Apparently 1 out of 3 people cheat in a relationship I just don't know whether it's my wife, or girlfriend."
"When someone says something is great, I take that as a personal challenge to not enjoy it."
"The world is my oyster. Expensive and gross."
"My friends ask me why I play soccer even though I'm not very good at it. just for kicks"
"Did you hear about the French chef that committed suicide? He lost the huile d'olive."