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Joke of the Day

"An alcoholic goes to the doctor.. The doctor diagnoses the man and says ""You have alcohol poisoning."" The man replies, ""I am going to find and KILL the person who poisoned my drinks!"""

"What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime? Paddy O'Furniture! (Happy St. Patrick's Day)"

"Q: Have you seen the new Barbie Doctor doll? A: You wind her up, and she operates on batteries."

"I'm so hipster... I wear modern clothes before anybody in the future wears them as hipster fashion."

"My favorite response to someone asking how something works... ""Magic"" even when I do know how it works. Because Lazy"

"What's the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boy scouts come back from camp."

"Just read ""four years after pregnancy 38% of moms still were not drinking"" I think it's safe to say this survey was not done on Twitter."

"When is the only time a Muslim bets? When there is a prophet involved."

"Jewelry make the perfect gifts because if things don't work out, she can throw them away and make you suffer. Take Titanic for example."

"What do people in the South use instead of www.Ancestry.com? www.incestry.com"