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Joke of the Day

"Every morning, I get out of bed and run around the block 5 times. Then I slide the block back under the bed and go back to sleep."

"How do you fit 3 babies in a bowl? Blender. How do you get them out? Chips."

"What is a male widow called? single"

"I nicknamed my urethra, Franklin."

"Some cultures fear that when someone takes your photograph they steal your soul. You should be fine, though."

"Tired of being fat and pasty? Put tanning bed lights in your refrigerator."

"What is green and has wheels Grass. I lied about the wheels."

"You know what always brings me down? Gravity."

"What does a virgin eat for breakfast? Has it been that long (Depending on the audience, it may be important to complete with a comedic pause and) ... ... since breakfast?"

"How do you get a faggot to fuck a bitch? You shit in her cunt."