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Joke of the Day

"Annoucement: At my funeral, all my tweets shall be recited. I will then haunt whomever leaves first, demanding honest feedback for eternity."

"What's a bartender's favorite book? Tequilla mocking bird."

"A walk of shame is always sad. Don't make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it."

"2 hr flight, better buy 8 lbs of fruit and nut mix."

"No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse."

"Nothing makes me feel less like you really do wish me the best than signing your emails ""Best,""."

"So, a man walks into a bar... and he gets a bruise on his head. (Yes, I know its a bad joke.)"

"Why does Skeleton Soup taste so poor? It lacks body"

"Wow!!! I farted into my iPhone and Siri told me what I had for breakfast."

"I've just been diagnosed with Sausagephobia... ...I fear the Wurst."