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Joke of the Day

"You know you're drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on"

"What's the difference between fat and cholesterol you don't wake up with a cholesterol"

"Why was the scientist allowed to use dolphins for his experiments? Because they were for test porpoise only"

"Donald Trump is going to demand to see Hilary Clinton's birth certificate... to make sure she is a woman."

"Where did the chess player go when he lost one of his chess pieces? The pawn shop."

"Europe is looking amazing right now. It lost a few pounds recently."

"I was doing so well getting over my viagra addiction... But I couldn't keep it up."

"What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist? By selling your guitar."

"1: Acquire scuba gear. 2: Strap duck decoy to head. 3: Dive in local pond. 4: Enjoy unlimited free bread crumbs."

"I asked a chinese girl for her number And she said "" SEX SEX SEX! FREE SEX TONIGHT! I replied ""wow!"" Then, her friend said ""I'm sorry, she meant, 6663629."