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Joke of the Day

"I'm worried that I'm gonna get a super judgey coroner."

"Hey Dog Walkers, technically, that dog can walk on its own. What it can't do is pick up it's own poop. You're just a poop collector."

"Had the words ""I love you"" tattoed on my dick. Wife made me remove it because... she said I was always trying to put words into her mouth."

"What do you call an intelligent blonde? A Labrador."

"Whats better then a gold medal in the special Olympics? Not being retarded."

"There are 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary, and those who don't."

"Why would John Wilkes Booth kill Abraham Lincoln? You would too if the guy in front of you at the Theatre was wearing a Top Hat!"

"I'm not a professional photographer, I'm just a club photographer. I take pictures at the club & people pay me to delete them."

"Adam: How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath? Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel wet the soap and flood the bathroom."

"What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards? M'laise."