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Joke of the Day
"Q: What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree? A: A gorilla with a machine gun."
Next Joke
"[at restaurant on 1st date pretending not to be an eel] Date: The wine is lovely great choice Me: *helplessly slips off chair*"
"What do you call a black guy having sex? RAPE"
"Trying to grab something out of my minivan while the automatic door is closing is the most Indiana Jones-y part of my day."
"Winter is like your boyfriend... you know it's coming soon but you want it to hold off for as long as possible"
"Pedophiles are... .... Fucking immature assholes."
"I just bought a notebook with perforated pages... It's tearable."
"How much do Rabbi's charge for their circumcisions? Nothing. They just keep the tips."
"I met my girlfriends dad last weekend, he told me ""Anything you do to my daughter ill do to you on my front lawn!"" I said ""I suppose you'll be buying me dinner on your front lawn?"""
"Someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard."