11992

Joke of the Day

"My priest was pretty upset today. Nobody at mass bought him a Father's Day card."

"Date Tip: If a date is going well, a series of loud hoots will scare off other suitors"

"College students... Thief: ""Give me all your money !"" Me: ""I'm a college student..."" Thief: ""... Have some of mine."""

"I wish I was 7'9"" so my BMI would be normal"

"Bears spend a bunch of time getting fat, sleep for a few months and then wake up skinny. Being a human is terrible."

"My biggest fear is getting a 200 page email that ends with ""Thoughts?"""

"I accidentally ate a piece of rope... I shit you knot"

"A ram walks into a whorehouse ""Can I get a woman?"" ""No, fuck ewe."""

"Why can't you make bread like my mother? I would if you could make dough like your father!"

"I think I'm emotionally constipated ...I haven't given a shit in days. (my daughter told me this just now new to me, hope it's new to you too)"