60630

Joke of the Day

"I wish I was 7'9"" so my BMI would be normal"

"While single, focus on becoming a better person instead of focusing on finding someone better than your ex. A better you will attract a better next."

"I like big buts and I cannot lie. But that doesn't necessarily make my grammar bad."

"*sees couple making out* Come on, get a room. Get a house with a bunch of rooms. Start a family, I think you'd have beautiful children."

"In German, the imperative is formed by opening your mouth and speaking German."

"I'm not saying I've gained weight, I'm just saying I don't think my belt buckle should be facing the ground..."

"""This work simply does not deserve an A,"" my teacher said, berating me."

"Me: Good night, moon. [30 mins later] Moon: I thought you went to bed. I saw you favorite that tweet. Why aren't you reading my messages?"

"I married a beautiful woman - a smart one too. Hopefully they'll never meet."

"What did the IT guy say when he threw RAM sticks at the stripper? ""RAMs a make a dance!"""