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Joke of the Day

"Bears spend a bunch of time getting fat, sleep for a few months and then wake up skinny. Being a human is terrible."

"There's a thin line distinguishing ""Heroes"" from ""Herpes"""

"You know what the best thing is about being a narcissist? Me."

"Why are all smart Mexicans guys gay? Because they do their essays."

"A friend and I saw a man killed at the canned goods factory... It was a jarring experience."

"What's the difference between a gay man and a curling iron? The gay man won't burn your dick while he's curling your pubes."

"I had some extra money laying around I was going to invest in quick sand... ...but the deal fell through."

"Damn girl are you Schrodinger's cat cos you're in a box and all these nerds are talking about you? Sir have some respect this is a funeral."

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

"Yo mama is so fat... That Seaworld is looking for her to make sure she no longer breeds."