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Joke of the Day

"People are like snowflakes. When they pile up on my car windshield, it's difficult to drive."

"I just walked in on two coworkers crying in a conference room and I was like, ""mind if I join?"""

"Some of the best decisions I've ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send."

"How do you fix a broken pizza? Use tomato paste."

"I broke the drums at the bar where I work, so my boss had to order a new set He told me there would be repercussions"

"There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't."

"I wanted to tell you a FedEx joke... But there was already one yesterday, and I don't want you to get FedUp."

"Sweat pants & Uggs in public says ""and I didn't brush my teeth, either."""

"Did you hear about the Navy hangar that doubles as a church? It's a house of warship"

"My brief gig as a lounge singer ended when I asked 4 requests & realized I didn't know the song ""Get Off the Stage or Die."" Elvis, maybe?"