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Joke of the Day

"To all newly married guys..... If you screw up Valentine's Day, you'll be celebrating Palm Sunday for a long time."

"When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, ""no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."""

"How do you know if a Muslim is laughing online? He types, ""HALOL"""

"Christmas is always awkward in Steve Harvey's house None of the presents have the correct names."

"Show her how romantic you are by sprinkling body parts in a trail leading to the bed."

"My head says ""go to the gym"" but my heart says, ""stay on the internet forever and eat!"""

"I tried playing hide-n-seek with my friends newborn and now I'm not allowed back inside that hospital :("

"Where does a mansplainer get his water? From a well, actually."

"This Halloween, make your friends run in terror by walking into their parties as ""guy with acoustic guitar""."

"Q: What's the capital of Afghanistan? A: KABOOM!!"