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Joke of the Day

"Patient: The trouble is doctor I keep pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Don't worry I don't expect anyone will notice."

"I met up with my ex-fiance today and immediately began having sex The police did not take it well as I was only asked to identify the body."

"Why do people order espresso shots at Starbucks? Because it's black. Sorry."

"What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire"

"Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever."

"If the TV show 'Cops' has taught me anything it's to stay away from people with blurry faces, they always seem to attract trouble."

"What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake? Get off me, homes."

"What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload."

"What did the Jewish pedophile say? Ay kid, go easy on the candy!"

"What do you call a night watchman with deep-set self-esteem issues? An insecurity guard "