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Joke of the Day

"What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake? Get off me, homes."

"Oh. Awesome. A gift card. It's like money, but I can only spend it where you thought I'd like to."

"Q . what did the sign on the whore house say?A: Beat it we are closed"

"""Why'd you name me Carson, dad?"" You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal."

"What should you do if you get an erection on the subway? Get off at the next stop!"

"I choose toothpaste NOT recommended by dentists... those sneaky tooth-fiddlers have a lot to gain from promoting one that doesn't work."

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. ..."

"Whats Darth Vaders favorite alchohol? Darth Jaeger"

"Family vacation is when you listen to your kids cry someplace expensive."

"2 Nazis walk into a BAR They each get 10 shots"