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Joke of the Day
"How do call an idiot that has an assault rifle pointed at you? Sir."
Next Joke
"Not sure if you're a pretentious douchebag? Do you buy honey in a plastic flip-top bear? No? Pretentious douchebag."
"Some days you're just really stupid. 365 to be exact."
"who's there * Knock knock * *who's there* * Dwayne * *Dwayne who?* * Dwayne the tub, I'm dwowning!"
"I think we figured out which one was Destiny's child."
"Why's it taking so long to legalise gay marriage in the whole of the US? I mean, America had four fathers and it turned out alright"
"What about that new beer... by Peter Cotton Ale? It's made with more hops!"
"I love playing catch with my dogs when I'm drunk, because I don't have dogs when I'm sober."
"How about instead of shaking hands we nod at each other and that way we both won't have to wash our hands?"
"My **** is like a bronze medal... Everyone gets it, no one wants it"