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Joke of the Day

"I think we figured out which one was Destiny's child."

"Have any you ever tried to throw out a garbage can ? I leave it on the curb everyday, and its always there when I get back from work."

"My friend told me he has developed a lung disease... I told him to explain it to me asbestos he can."

"Tim Burton could've saved a lot of money on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and just shown a 2016 Facebook Year in Review instead."

"What's Hitlers least favorite planet? Jewpiter."

"I don't know what the thickness limit on the office laminator is, but I'm sure as fuck not stopping until I have a waterproof cat."

"What do you call a piano composer that smokes? Tarcoughski"

"Have you heard the joke about the margarine? I'd tell it you but I prefer it unsaturated."

"COP: You seen an escaped evil octopus? ME: No COP: [looks up] Nice chandelier ME: Thanks COP: Why is it wet? ME: Um COP: And holding 8 guns?"

"Have you guys had the new Lance Armstrong Trail Mix? There's only one nut in the bag."