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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it."

"What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung? Guardians of the Galaxy!"

"School is like a boner... long and hard, unless your Asian!"

"How do you cut off a redneck's dick? Kick his sister in the jaw"

"My office password's been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat."

"I can't wait to see the new movie, ""Constipation"" Unfortunately it hasn't come out yet."

"Things never heard before sex, ""Wait let me take off my crocs first"""

"If you were a prisoner going down the stair You couldnt be more condescending."

"Why does the fat chick give the best blowjobs? She closes her eyes and imagines she's having cordon bleu."

"Where do poor noodles live? In the spaghetto"