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Joke of the Day

"A conversation between 3 partially deaf elderly men. Elder 1: It's windy! Elder 2: No, it's thursday! Elder 3: Right, let's all get a cuppa tea shall we?"

"I'm addicted to wanking over leaflets. When I went into rehab, I got off to a flyer."

"Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone"

"I hate church with all the sitting, standing, and kneeling. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"Things I haven't seen in a while: 1) the 2yo I'm babysitting today 2) a man 3) my waist-line 4) my imaginary goat, Bill 5) my sanity"

"Have you seen the new globe they're making? It's revolutionary"

"I have to stop saying ""How stupid can you be"" I think people are starting to take it as a challenge."

"What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps could finish a race."

"When I'm bored, nobody texts me. When I'm busy, BAM! I'm the most popular person in the world."

"Why do molluscs only think of themselves? Because they're shellfish"