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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Have you been drinking? Me: *sips beer Cop: That was stupid. Me: So was your question."

"Is your dad's name Craftsman? Because you're a ratchet that's very easy to replace"

"I just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move."

"MUST WATCH heartwarming video! Limbless man rents himself as talking door stop for rich people to afford daughter's seizure medication."

"What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd."

"I sold my old bike the other day. I decided it was time to peddle it."

"Did you hear about the pornstar that could cum in one second? His name was Juan Mississippi."

"A talking penguin walked into a bar and the bar tender said: ""Hey, we don't usually get a lot of talking penguins."" And the penguin responded: ""Well, no wonder - at these prices!"""

"A gay man asks his lover ""are you mad at me?"" The lover responds ""no, why?"". The gay man says ""Well, last night you slept facing me"""

"Did you guys hear about the Great Potato Famine in Ireland? Seriously, how hard is it to feed your potatoes?"