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Joke of the Day

"The only time my wife will ever scream ""DEEPER, DEEPER"" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground"

"Just ran over my neighbors cat. In fairness, though, the damn thing probably thought he was safe when he made it to the porch."

"Calling your girlfriend dumbledore cz she is the real head master"

"Why did the hippie lifeguard not save the drowning boy? He was too far out man!!"

"Life is like a box if chocholates. It's full of nuts and you only enjoy some of it."

"Never drink and derive You'll integrate something you don't need."

"My brother committed suicide and didn't leave a note. How inconsiderate of him. I mean, would it have killed him to leave a note?"

"People make such a big deal about vegans, but I don't get it. I've never had a beef with one."

"Conversation between a politician and prostitute Politician : Hi, I'm 52. I am a politician and I am honest. Prostitute : Hi, I'm 27. I am a prostitute and I am virgin."

"if you whisper ""snapchat"" in the mirror 3 times a white girl will appear and say ""hold on let me grab my Bacardi before you take the pic!"""