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Joke of the Day

"if you whisper ""snapchat"" in the mirror 3 times a white girl will appear and say ""hold on let me grab my Bacardi before you take the pic!"""

"If I had a dollar for every person who found me unattractive... I'd buy the htc vive, because who the fuck cares if your ugly when you have VR."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after three HOs."

"Passover jokes? In case conversation at our seder lags."

"What do you call a pensioner at a murder trial? A juryatric."

"What has got two legs and bleeds? Half a dog!"

"Why did God create women? To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet."

"A Medieval Escort I've been down on my luck, but today I was finally offered a job as a medieval escort. Unfortunately, it means I will have to work fucking knights."

"Alcohol & Fanta If I Drink Alcohol , I m Alcoholic... If I Drink Fanta, M I Fantastic...?"

"Just introduced my teen daughter to Monty Python, thus completing my duties as a father. I will now retire to Florida and await grandkids."