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Joke of the Day

"To the guy with the friend who dates Asians.... Maybe he just needs some time to re-orient himself?"

"I only accept chocolate chip cookie bribes, THE SOFT ONES CHRISTY, NOT THE GARBAGE YOU GAVE ME."

"How many Sanders supporters does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, they can't change anything."

"just ate about 3 pounds of eggplant parm. time to fuck."

"So, would you ever tell anybody if you woke naked in the middle of the woods, hung over with a sore ass? Wanna go camping?"

"I've been with the same woman for twenty years. Don't tell my wife. She'd kill me."

"Sex is like ping pong A never ending push and pull until one partner loses the ball"

"James Bond is my favorite drunk, horny murderer."

"I told my therapist that no one understands me... She said, ""What do you mean by that?"""

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven is a registered six offender."