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Joke of the Day

"To the guy with the friend who dates Asians.... Maybe he just needs some time to re-orient himself?"

"Life is like a box of chocolates... ...it doesn't last as long for fat people."

"Don't fear the onegina Commitment fearing men, do not fear the onegina syndrome, merely have a baby with her. It will feel like two."

"How bout a fortune cookie that tells you not to take advice from shitty dessert."

"Why can't Chinese emperors commit murder? Because it's irregal"

"What is the one thing batman and superman don't have to worry about? Dad Jokes."

"Work tip: if you're going to ask your boss if you can ""work from home"", don't use air quotes."

"The worst part of having to kiss someone is when the coffin lid falls and hits you in the head."

"I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night."

"This girl came up to me and asked if I remembered her from the vegetarian club... but I don't think I'd seen herbivore."