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Joke of the Day

"saw someone spill their high end juice cleanse all over the sidewalk and now I know god is on my side"

"Why'd they call the egg a pimp? Because he got ova easy."

"How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't be silly, Feminists can't change anything!"

"National Survey Reports Pi day as America's Third-Most Underrated Holiday To me it's a little bit more than that."

"i get sad for like an hour and then happy for 5 minutes and then sad for another hour and then happy for 3 minutes omg break ups r real hard"

"Plunging... ...is like performing CPR on your toilet."

"My wife made fun of my (admittedly) ugly balls again. I shall now drop the charade that I am a ""feminist."""

"Some jokes on Mexicans can be funny, but a lot of the times they cross the border. ^^^^^OC ^^^^^but ^^^^^rephrased"

"The only difference between the people I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him."

"Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!......It'll take them an hour to pass the salt!!!"