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Joke of the Day

"My wife made fun of my (admittedly) ugly balls again. I shall now drop the charade that I am a ""feminist."""

"If I die before I wake, I pray the lord will clear my browsing history."

"What did the woman say to her husband who constantly turns the heater up way too high? ""This is why we can't have ice things!"""

"*Kanye West's dating show* 10 women stand in front of me and I only have 9 roses. BUT WAIT... They're all for me *Kanye wins dating show*"

"Right now a group of women at a baby shower are simultaneously saying, ""Awwww..."" while some knocked up chick holds up a tiny pair of socks."

"What's the turnover rate for pornstars? 100%"

"I made my 4-year-old sit at the table till she finished her lunch It took her 3 hours She was so excited to be done Then I served dinner."

"Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She is a woman."

"""I got it! Let's have a princess trapped by a gorilla who throws barrels at a plumber! Wow these drugs are great!"" - Donkey Kong creators"

"My girlfriend said I have a pretty penis... I replied, ""I guess you could say its the belle of the balls"" hopefully you guys enjoy this joke more than she did."