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Joke of the Day

"My mom took my phone when I wasn't paying attention She said ""honey have you been watching porn?"" ""N-no mom why would you say that?"" I asked petrified. ""Because your search history is blank""."

Next Joke
 
"What's a Mexican's favorite assignment? Ese's(Essays)"
"[roulette] ME: [slaps table] 50 on red CROUPIER: Sir that is 50 pictures of Celine Dion ME: Yes and if I win [grabs him] you owe me 50 more"
"I was trying to write an essay about the jews in World War II.. But I just couldn't concentrate."
"Plutonium smells just like shit. Pu."
"I've been sitting at this computer for hours and I haven't seen a single website. That's because you're supposed to sit facing the screen."
"What does a nosy pepper do? Get jalapeno business."
"What type of lights were on Noah's Ark? You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!"
"I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. Then he was chuffed to bits."
"What do you call a toilet seat that's missing the left side? Half-assed. (please forgive me, first time)"